


ruin me

by snowandwolves



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Feelings, Long-Distance Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26385535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowandwolves/pseuds/snowandwolves
Summary: In all honesty, Hitoka didn't plan to tell Kiyoko everything.Or the process in which Hitoka learns how to let her heart do the speaking and Kiyoko learns what it means to be anything other than a heartbreaker.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	ruin me

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be oneshot. Instead, this has turned into a monster I didn't expect to write.

**1\. Yachi Madoka**

Hitoka loves quietly.

Before the embarrassing incident in the not-so-deserted train station, Madoka learned that Hitoka loved her by learning how to cook so that there was always dinner waiting for her when gets home. Hitoka loved her by leaving her bedroom door wide open – the only sign of her quiet yearning for a mother who wasn't there. Hitoka loved her by saying "I'm leaving" and "I'm home" even when the house was still and sad in the late afternoons or early mornings.

So, when Madoka came home for dinner, Hitoka only smiled, softly and gently. Her mother stared at her, expression unreadable as if she didn't recognize her own daughter. Hitoka reminded her by shyly walking forward, ducking her head down, and wringing her fingers before a quiet "I love you, mom" slipped through her trembling lips.

For a moment, she could only stare at this brave, kind girl.

Madoka responded by doing something she'd almost forgotten how to do; she wrapped her arms around her daughter's fragile body, trying to soothe the fear in her shoulders.

"I love you, too, kid. I'll do better."

This was how she began to see that Hitoka loves quietly but so, _so_ earnestly that Madoka thinks her heart might break.

It wasn't long before the Karasuno Volleyball Club became the topic of their dinner conversations. Hitoka is animated and excited when she tells her of the members, and Madoka laughs (the sound so foreign) and hugs her daughter, telling her that she's glad she found a place to belong. Hitoka sniffs in the aftermath of her words before whispering another "I love you, mom." She hadn't stopped saying it, and part of her aches because it sounds like her daughter's afraid that if she stopped repeating it, Madoka might forget.

The following months are hard as routines are ruined and a broken relationship begins to mend. But slowly but surely, the Yachi household leaves the dust behind and it starts to fill the space with the sound of fond laughter and the smell of half-cooked dinners. Hitoka breaks out of her shell, and Madoka re-learns how to be a mother again.

They have never been happier.

But one day, Hitoka comes home after what Madoka remembers as the high school volleyball match against Shiratorizawa, eyes red-rimmed but lips upturned with a smile.

"They won, mom!"

A few months ago, she would've nodded, not bothering to look into the sagging shoulders of her daughter.

But not now, never again.

"So, what's wrong?"

Hitoka's face falls.

Madoka takes her hand and sits her on the couch before shuffling around the kitchen to get tea started. She hands her daughter a warm cup.

"Hitoka? What's wrong?"

"I'm…" Hitoka starts and falters.

"Whatever it is, it's alright, we'll go through it together. Take your time, but tell me what's wrong, okay?"

Her daughter nods and her shoulders shake with the oncoming torrent of sobs that makes Madoka get up, set her cup on the table, and hurry to take Hitoka in her arms. She shushes her and whispers gentle comfort until her daughter's tears move aside to make way for sniffs and labored breathing.

"Mom, I… I'm in love with a girl," Hitoka rushes out.

Madoka takes a moment to process her words. Their country hasn't made any notable progress when it comes to same-sex relationships, but her job allowed her to meet good people. But more than that, she's shocked that Hitoka, even with her shy and reluctant courage, didn't hesitate to tell her.

The confusion and shock must have been obvious because Hitoka pulls away, occupying her suddenly empty hands by clenching and unclenching them.

"I'm… I didn't w-want t-to hide it from y-you. We're trying to be b-better, and I didn't think i-it would be fair if y-you didn't know who I am," her breath hitches. "I-I understand if you need time away from me, Mom. It-It's not an easy thing to a-accept."

Madoka startles at the thought of going back to the way they were before. She gently pulls Hitoka closer, lifting her chin when her daughter refuses to meet her eyes.

"I love you," Madoka says, hoping that Hitoka can hear her unspoken promises. "I know it's not going to be easy, but sweetheart," the endearment falls strange but sweet on her tongue, "I love you, no matter who you fall in love with, yeah?"

Her daughter cries and cries and cries, and she holds her, unwilling to let her go.

"Tell me about her."

That night, Madoka thinks of the shy and skittish Hitoka and the Hitoka who has fallen into the deep end for one Shimizu Kiyoko. 

She amends her statement: her daughter loves quietly but when she's allowed to love, Hitoka does so loudly, without hesitation and condition. The thought of how she'd unintentionally taught her how to hide love hurts Madoka and she gets up, pads to her daughter's wide-open bedroom door, and stays beside it for a long, long time.

In the morning, she pulls aside a friend in the office, who she knows is in a happy relationship with a man he met on a trip and asks him what Hitoka may need from her. They don't get any work done that day, but Madoka leaves the office armed with new knowledge, a promise from her very relieved friend to bring his boyfriend over for dinner, and a dangerous smile for anyone who might punish her daughter for something so profound like falling in love.

**2\. Tsukishima Kei**

Fighting in the nationals gave Kei a very annoying habit.

He'd never really cared about other people, except for Tadashi, who wouldn't leave him no matter how much of an asshole he could be. Tsukishima is annoyed because he can't say the same. Fighting against Ushijima, Kuroo, and the current Little Giant meant that he had to look for signs, read body language, and decide what to do from there. The downside is that he can't seem to turn off the habit, and it's like seeing something you'll never forget.

Now, Kei would know when Tadashi was about to ask him something before his friend (his everything, his mind traitorously corrects) can even open his mouth.

Initially, he'd been relieved that Tadashi didn't seem to be scared of him. But when it sunk in that he could predict what _anyone_ , not just Tadashi, could do before they do it, Tsukishima cursed. He could get away with not giving a damn about people because they don't normally tell him what's bothering them or how they are, and he was fine with that. And then came the annoying habit of people watching and reading body language.

Tsukishima now knows more about Karasuno and his teammates than he's comfortable knowing.

For instance, Asahi is so shy that he folds into himself whenever he has to talk to someone. But when he gets comfortable, his body language blooms in contentment. Kei has to look away.

Daichi, the mother hen of the team, makes Kei cringe whenever he does something their captain would disapprove of because the his body language always reaches out to them like they're a part of his body.

Perhaps the funniest realization he had (one that he knows he would've figured out because they're so _loud_ ) is that the weird-ass combo pines after one another.

The King is subtler but Kei has seen him glance at the small spiker, keeping track of how he is and then adjusts his movements accordingly, even outside the gym and courts. Hinata is less subtle, and Kei is mildly annoyed that he didn't pick up on it sooner because the boy is happiest when Kageyama is there, tossing a ball for him or not. Kei rolls his eyes.

Yachi is a shock to him. Kei would watch her determination when someone asks her for help, her care when she's bandaging his fingers, and her worry when Kageyama and Hinata get into a shouting match. But when it comes to how she might feel about herself, Yachi's movements stop and her body language shuts down so thoroughly and quickly that Kei needs to squint for any telltale signs (because despite himself, he can admit that he worries. _Sometimes_.).

When she's having a bad day, the only sign that she's lying about being fine is the tiny tremors in her fingers. When she's sad, he wouldn't know if it weren't for the fact that she closes her eyes, presumably to stop the tears. To anyone else, it might've looked like she was sleepy or tired but never sad because they cannot fathom Yachi being anything but happy and shy and excitable.

And then, there are the times when Shimizu's anywhere near Yachi. This is what Kei finds the most confusing because the junior manager becomes completely unreadable. No telltale signs or twitches. Before nationals, Yachi would blush and he guesses that's just Shimizu's effect on people. He was probably wrong. The uncertainty bothers him more than he cares to admit.

Because how does someone as honest as Yachi learn to hide her feelings like it's as natural as breathing?

That's how he finds himself approaching her as she's locking up, long after the team has gone home.

"Yachi-san?"

"Did you forget something, Tsukishima-kun?"

He looks away from her earnest eyes, unable to digest the fact that he was about to ask a personal question. Briefly, he wishes that Tadashi got this damn habit instead.

"May I ask you a question? It's… It's, um, a personal question," he stammers, which is _uncool_.

Yachi gives him a look, and he resists the urge to fidget, unwilling to damage his reputation further.

"Sure, do you want to sit down?"

"That would probably be best."

They make their way over to the platform.

Kei appreciates that she waits until they've sat down even though she's nervous based on the light tapping of her fingers against the material of her pants.

Briefly, he hopes she doesn't think he's confessing.

"There's no non-invasive way to put this, so I'm just going to ask," he says, waiting for any kind of approval. She nods without hesitation. "Are you… do you have feelings for Shimizu-san?"

Internally, he winces at his attempt to sound kind. He disregards it for later because the moment the words are out, it's like he'd wrenched open a can of worms. Yachi's shoulders sag, heavy with a weight he didn't know she was carrying. She pulls her knees to her chest and gives a sad, soft smile.

Kei thinks that he has never seen her so honest.

"You don't have to answer," he adds.

"It's alright. S-Someone was bound to n-notice anyway," she says, voice trembling. "The answer is yes, Tsukishima-kun."

He suppresses his shock at the blunt admission (he had expected for her to stammer and stumble over her words before giving him an answer). He didn't hide it well if the tiny amusement in otherwise strange and dull eyes was anything to go by.

"I told my mom right after Shiratorizawa," she shares in explanation. "It helps a lot to know that she knows. What gave me away?"

He shrugs.

"It takes one to know one?"

Yachi's smile turns knowing and fond, and Kei is fairly sure that he's blushing. Him. _Blushing_.

"Yamaguchi-kun?"

"Yeah." On an impulse, he decides than this conversation can't hurt more than it already does. "He's been there for me for so long that I can't… I don't see life without him. He calls me an idiot and it's hypocritical but there's, um, there's no one else out there I'd be _this_ stupid for." He might die of embarrassment. "This is the first time I've told anyone, Yachi-san."

"Don't worry, I don't plan on telling anyone," she says, her tone so kind that Kei suddenly realizes that this was why she's the team's little sister. "Have you tried telling him?"

He nods, momentarily forgetting his abhorrence for any form of human feelings.

"It didn't go so well. I couldn't get the words out."

"I understand what you mean."

"I bet you do," he chuckles self-deprecatingly. "When did you know?"

Yachi finally blushes a deep red, her confidence breaking, and hands coming up to cover her face. But there's no hesitation in her answer.

"The day I met her."

"Oh?"

"Yep," she says, words muffled. "Tsukishima-kun…"

"Call me Tsukki if it's alright for me to call you Hitoka. We're in the gym after school hours discussing _love_ of all damn things. I think we've passed the point of no return."

Yachi lifts her head, giggling at their predicament.

"Who would've known, right?"

He nods, disgruntled, before looking at her expectantly. She blushes again but she only looks away, gaze seeing something he can't see.

"She came to the first year's floor, all beauty and grace, to recruit me for this club. I was… You wouldn't believe how dazed I was. She was saying something but I didn't hear anything. I think I would've said yes to anything she asked me to do."

"Whipped."

"Mm-hmm. After that, I was convinced that it was an infatuation or a p-ph-physical attraction at first. But the more I got to know her, the deeper I fell, and now, I don't know how to get up. I… I can't tell her. I may have a tiny bit of confidence now but definitely not enough to stand before her and tell her I'm – _god_ , that I'm in love with her," she says, out of breath.

"Same," he responds lamely. "Would you tell her if you could?"

"I don't know," she whispers. "I'm just _me_ and I'm pretty sure she deserves someone who can give her far more than I can. Tsukki, I'm a disaster lesbian and you're a disaster gay. What in the world are we going to do?"

He laughs, not bothering to refute her comment about herself, somehow knowing that they'll have time for that later. She joins in on his laughter, the gym echoing the sound of their relieved and slightly defeated notes of joy. Kei doesn't remember when the last time he felt this free to be himself outside of Tadashi. She leans her head on his shoulder. He stiffens, unused to human contact.

"Oh, relax, we've established we don't swing each other's way and that we're very much disasters in love."

Privately, he smirks, still reeling because of her unexpectedly snarky side.

The following day, they go to practice like normal. Well, almost normal, because she had greeted him with a bright "Tsukki" and he didn't think before he responded with an impassive face and a nod, "Hitoka." Naturally, they ignored the sudden stillness in the room.

Kei settles on his spot in the corner of the gym, watching people and their interactions.

He noticed that while Yachi continues to hide her feelings for Shimizu, she cannot hide from him anymore because he knows where to look.

He notices how she would turn her entire body toward Shimizu whenever the manager talks to her. He sees how she was usually leaning on one side, always toward Shimizu's direction. He watches as she brightens, happier than he'd ever seen her when Shimizu smiles. He realizes then that her body language wasn't so much as going still as it was that Yachi seems to find comfort in Shimizu's very being that her movements stop to soak it in.

Vaguely, he wonders if his body language screams the same things when it comes to Tadashi.

When she catches him watching, her body language responds in different ways. A hello there, a thank you once, and a commiserating look more often than not. He never got to ask how she learned to hide emotions so well, but Kei thinks that they'll get there. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but he quite likes their unexpected friendship.

**3\. Hinata Shouyo and Kageyama Tobio**

Shouyou was surprised when Yachi approached him two months before the senpais' graduation to ask if he could teach her how to play volleyball. She tells him that if she's to take over the managerial position after Shimizu leaves (Shouyo doesn't miss the softness in her tone when she mentions their senpai's name), then she'll need to work harder. He gets the feeling that there's more to it than that.

"I'd love to, Yachi-san! When do you want to start?"

"After practice today if you're not too tired?"

"That would be great! Do you mind if we do a little bit of studying before we get into the basics?"

Yachi lifts an eyebrow in amusement.

"Kageyama and I have a bet going on."

"Ah," she says, still amused. "That's good with me, too! See you after practice? Thanks, Hinata-kun!"

He nods and smiles until she's out of sight. There's something off about her that he can't place a finger on. He's dense, but not dense enough to not notice when there's something wrong with the people he cares about. If anything, Tobio's more oblivious than he is, and the thought makes him puff out his chest in a show of petty pride.

During practice, Shouyo can't help glancing at Yachi. She's been nothing but kind to him and Tobio, and it makes him feel bad that they seem to always need her. Sure, she's always happy to help, but he knows next to nothing about her beyond her tumultuous but mending relationship with her mother. The thought disturbs him.

Tobio ends up staying with them stating that Hinata lacks in the basics himself and that he probably won't be able to teach anything to Yachi. Normally, Hinata would growl and retort. But with no one around, he instead says, "jerk" without any bite and with a fond smile that he reserves for when they're alone. Tobio blushes, still unused to affection.

That's alright, Shouyo thinks, they have time.

His thoughts are cut off when he hears Shimizu and Yachi by the gym doors.

"I'm sorry, Shimizu-senpai, I asked Hinata-kun for a favor, so I'll be staying with them if that's okay? I got the keys from Takeda-sensei. We'll lock up as soon as we're done," Yachi says, tone apologetic and something else that Shouyo thinks he recognizes.

"Will you be okay walking home afterward or do you want me to wait? I don't mind."

"It's alright, Shimizu-senpai. I know you have finals coming up. You should go home – I'll be okay! I'll ask Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun to walk me home."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Take care, Shimizu-senpai. Please let me know when you get home," Yachi requests shyly.

"I will."

And with one last suspicious glance toward him and Kageyama, Shimizu departs. Shouyo finds the interaction weird, but he keeps the thought to himself. He gently taps Yachi on the shoulder (she hasn't moved since Shimizu left – another weird thing he files for later), and she whirls around, smiling brightly.

"Ready?"

"Let's do this!"

They sit down right on the floor, each one of them bringing out notebooks and textbooks. Shouyo fires question after question. Kageyama had to be probed, but when Yachi tells him that she won't judge at all, he relents and begins to ask questions. The junior manager had long before figured out that they understand academic concepts better when she uses volleyball terms to explain. The quick study session goes smoothly, and before any of them knew it, an hour has passed and the sun has set.

"Yachi-san," Shouyo starts as they bring out the balls for practice. "Why do you want to learn volleyball?"

"I… I told you?"

"But that's not the whole reason, right? So, why?"

Kageyama smacks the back of his head, a clear reprimand to respect other people's boundaries. Yachi giggles, a blush dusting her cheeks.

"You're perceptive when you want to be Hinata-kun."

"Hey! I'm perceptive all the time!" He says indignantly. Kageyama scoffs beside him.

"You're a blockhead. You didn't even notice that I like you up until you confessed like a total idiot."

As soon as the words were out, both of them freeze, only moving to turn to look at Yachi, horrified and terrified. Yachi gives them both a gentle smile that tugs at Shouyo's heartstrings.

"Since when have you guys been together?"

"About three weeks? It's new, and we didn't want anyone to know because the senpais are leaving and we didn't want them to worry," Shouyo rambles, suddenly self-conscious.

It turns out that they had nothing to worry about as Yachi steps closer.

"May I hug you guys?"

Shouyo, never one to reject any form of affection, opens his arms immediately. Tobio looks away but he doesn't say no. Yachi falls into Shouyo's arms, giddy and trembling in excitement. He spies Tobio's hand fall on her head, patting her awkwardly.

Shouyo's so proud of him.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Yachi exclaims before pulling away, seeming to know that Tobio has just about reached his tolerance for physical touching.

"You don't think it's… I don't know, disgusting or something?" He asks, ignoring the way his setter stiffens beside him.

"No," she answers without missing a beat. "It would be hypocritical of me, Hinata-kun."

Her words take a moment to process, and when it does, Shouyo laughs at Tobio's hanging jaw and Yachi's equally shocked face like she didn't think she'd be sharing that today. He laughs until he can't breathe because _man_ he's so glad that Yachi decided to join the volleyball club.

Between his random laughter and Kageyama's attempt to teach Yachi, they don't get to talk about anything else. Shouyo feels a weight lift from his shoulders, and suddenly, he can breathe easier with the knowledge that they're not alone and Yachi doesn't treat them differently. He wonders if Tobio feels the same because Shouyo's never seen him as relaxed as he does now with a near-constant twitch on his face like he's trying to smile. Shouyo's so fond of him that he thinks he might burst.

Yachi does manage to get down the basics of receiving. They suggest stopping once the red in her forearms become noticeable but she insists, saying that she's far from done. And if anyone can understand that kind of hunger when it comes to volleyball, it's him and Tobio. She _does_ end up calling a stop for practice when her arms start to show little purple dots that would make Shouyo worry if it weren't for the beaming smile that Yachi was sporting after receiving a (very) soft spike from Tobio.

Just like that, a routine is made.

They switch places between the gym and Shouyo's house (Tobio was stiff the first time they were there), and more often than not, they adjust the schedule to accommodate Shimizu's tendency to walk Yachi home.

For the most part, the team has accepted their new routine even though Tsukishima shoots them a scathing look whenever Yachi drops their water bottles courtesy of her probably sore arms. Shouyo wonders when Tsukishima cared about anyone other than Yamaguchi.

Shimizu always gives them a suspicious look and that would make Shouyo uncomfortable but every time their senpai does it, Yachi always looks soft, like a warm blanket was draped over her in the middle of winter when she thinks no one's looking. So, Shouyo endures it.

He'd forgotten about the fact that Yachi never answered him when he asked about why she was learning volleyball until he's harshly reminded of it. They were in the middle of practice and he was beaming with pride after Yachi finally succeeds with an underhand serve. It was a month after they started their routine, and nothing could have prepared him for a girl who suddenly burst into tears.

"Yachi-san?!" He exclaims as he makes his way over to her.

"It's okay, I'm okay, it's nothing," she gasps within stuttering breaths. Tobio's hands hover over her shaking form, equally as lost as Shouyo.

He guesses that this was probably more than about the serve, but he refrains from asking. Instead, he takes her into his arms, letting her sob against his shoulder and lowering them both to the floor, hoping it's more comfortable than standing. He motions for Tobio to get water, and his setter does so without hesitation.

The entire time, Yachi stumbles over half-formed apologies. Shouyo does his best to shush her, to tell her that it's okay to cry, to whisper that they're always here whenever she's ready. Briefly, he worries about Tobio, knowing that he's uncomfortable with new emotions. But the worry seems to be unnecessary because his setter looks like he's more worried about Yachi – a testament to the friendship they deepened between red arms, bouncing balls, and constant laughter.

It takes a while but her sobs subside. She doesn't make a move to pull away from her position on the floor, body resting on Shouyo. So he stays where he is, trying to transfer his strength into her exhausted form.

"Are you… Will you tell us? You don't have to, but we'd like to help," he says softly.

She doesn't respond for a few minutes and Shouyo's content to just hold her. It comes as a surprise when she speaks, voice scratchy from the heart-wrecking sobs earlier.

"I'm in love with Shimizu-senpai," she answers, exhausted enough to forget to blush or make use of her filter. Hinata knows the feeling. "And they… she's leaving in a few weeks and they're about to say goodbye any day now, and I don't think I'm ready for it."

Shouyo can't say that he's surprised about the revelation and neither is Tobio considering he's been contemplating it with his setter for a month. He pulls her tighter in his arms as she trembles like she might cry again.

He can't fathom the thought of Tobio leaving even though he knows that both of them might do so to improve their skills. For Yachi, the possibility is real and looming, and _oh my god,_ she must've been suffocating. How she was able to hide that feeling is beyond him; he'd have burst to tears within days, if not _hours_.

Tobio reaches for her hand, hesitating mid-air but powering through. Yachi immediately grips it.

"I know it's not going to be easy. But as the idiot said, we're here whenever you need us. Does Tsukishima know?"

She nods.

"Then you have all of us whenever you need it. I'm, um, not great with _feelings_ ," he spits slightly but not unkindly, "or talking, but I'll try."

Finally, a small smile graces her lips and Shouyo knows that Tobio will be proud of that later when they're alone.

"Is this why you've been practicing volleyball?"

"I need something else to focus on. Otherwise, I might cry every day," she chuckles sadly. "I mean, I _do_ want to learn it because I might be able to help you better if I know what's it like."

"We know, Yachi-san. I think you've given me more helpful feedback about receives than stupid Kageyama here," Shouyo reassures her before she spirals. "I understand. I did the same when I was trying to figure out what to tell Tobio. Have you tried telling Shimizu-senpai?"

"Tsukki asked the same, and no, I haven't. I don't know how to say it or if I even want to do it at all."

"Well, in my experience, I did it because I didn't want to regret not doing it. I knew that anything could happen and he could walk away and leave me in pieces, but for me, that's still better than the regret I'm so sure I'll feel if I don't tell him at all," he offers gently.

"I know," she whispers. "It's funny because I'm not afraid of her rejection."

"Then what are you afraid of?" Tobio asks, features contorted in confusion.

"I'm _so_ scared that she'll never want to talk to me again. And I'm okay with not having her the way I want, but I can't handle not having her in my life at all. I'm used to it – loving her from somewhere far away, loving her from the sidelines. But I don't want a life without her, and if that means I'm only her friend, then that's more than enough. I'll live if she's not in my life, I know that. The problem is that I don't want to. That's why I don't want to tell her."

Hitoka pauses.

"I'm also scared that it will hurt her."

"How?" Hinata can't help asking.

"I'm sure I'm not the first person to try and tell her that I'm in love with her. But Shimizu-senpai is kind and caring. Can you imagine what breaking hearts must do to her? I don't want to make it worse. I don't want her to have to think that I'm another person she's torn into pieces when it isn't even her fault that I fell for her. But, at the same time, I _do_ want to do it. If for no other reason than to let her know that she's loved, that she's someone important to someone like me, that she's more than just the beauty that people fawn over," she finishes on the edge of another sob, silent tears already falling on her normally smiling face.

Shouyo might cry. Tobio looks stricken, facial muscles clearly unused to such an expression. And Shouyo knows that he'll probably cry about this later, at home, and in the comfort of his bedroom on in his setter's arms.

"I think…" he starts and falters, finding his throat thick with emotion. "I think you're wonderful, Yachi-san. Not many people can love someone the way you do, and I'm sorry that you thought you had to hide something so wonderful. I think you should do it. Maybe to help you let go or to avoid any regrets or to simply tell her that she's loved. Maybe it's the push that needs to happen for the good to come."

"Yachi-san, feelings are strange for me, but now that I have it, I don't think I can just walk away from it. I don't think Shimizu-senpai would too, no matter what happens. I… I don't think she would turn her back on you when you're being nothing but honest and brave. And when you've done the best you could, we'll be here."

She nods but doesn't speak anymore, lost in her thoughts. On the way to her home, Hinata feels her grip the ends of their uniforms with each hand but doesn't say anything, all too willing to provide whatever comfort he can give. When she's out of sight, safe at home, Shouyo turns to Tobio, lips trembling.

" _Damn_ ," his setter says before he can get a word out. "I-I want you to know that while I'm shit at saying anything, I'm… I'll always fight for this. Even if the future is an ass."

Shouyo smiles and holds his hand under the desperately sad stars that paint the night sky.

**4\. Yamaguchi Tadashi**

Tadashi doesn't know what to think when Tsukki suddenly falls unusually silent.

He's lost count of how many times he'd been tempted to ask if he did anything wrong. And if it weren't for the fact that he knows Tsukki will only stare at him like he's an idiot, he's sure he would've asked by now. As it is, Tadashi knew that he'd tell him whatever was bothering him when he's ready. But it's been a _week_ , and Tadashi is slowly dying inside.

In an attempt to distract himself, he had turned to Yachi, who was trying to learn volleyball. He practiced with her whenever he could, and often, he was her source of moral support, especially since this is the first time she's trying anything sports-related. She reminded him of Hinata. They had the same hunger to learn and an almost unbelievable concentration. When he asked if she was planning to try-out for volleyball teams, she'd shaken her head, saying that she just wanted to be of whatever help she can be to them.

For the most part, the distraction worked because Yachi's driven and determined and curious, and it makes him want to be there every step of the way. He'd wondered if this was why Tsukki had suddenly adopted her or why Hinata and Kageyama seem to be attuned to her (which he finds amazing because they only ever think about volleyball).

In the end, there's only so much a distraction can do because he spies Tsukki walking towards the back of the gym, where he'd been discussing different volleyball-related exercises she can do whenever she has time.

The conversation stalls when Yachi spots him too.

"Hi, Tsukki."

"Hitoka," he says as he approaches before promptly turning to look at him.

_He's nervous_ , he realizes rather suddenly, and that makes Tadashi anxious.

"Yamaguchi, can I talk to you?"

He manages to nod, vaguely hearing part of Yachi's goodbye. Tsukki sits on the spot Yachi left behind, and for a moment, there was nothing but silence. Not for the first time, Tadashi wished he could read his mind. He knows that Tsukki, like Kageyama, struggles with words. He jolts a foot in the air when Tsukki begins to speak without looking at him.

"There's something I've been trying to figure out how to tell you," he starts as he pushes up his glasses – a nervous habit that Tadashi has learned over the years. "I still don't know how to say it, and I think that's stupid."

"Is something wrong?"

"Depends."

"On what?" He asks with some trepidation.

"On how you'd react if I told you that I'm…" Tsukki stops, seemingly catching his words too late.

He doesn't say anything, but Tadashi can see the corner of his friend's lips twitch up like he's laughing at himself. Tsukki heaves a sigh, letting Tadashi know that he's exasperated with their current situation and his apparent struggle to tell him whatever it was that he's trying to tell him. (Somewhere in his chest, an old hope echoes, and Tadashi does his best to shove it back to where he knows he'll forget).

"Screw it," Tsukki cusses before finally meeting his gaze. "I like you, and I have for a long time. I don't know what it feels like to be in love, but if I did, then I'm sure that that's what I feel for you."

Tadashi can't remember how to breathe. He stares blankly at Tsukki (the old hope _roars_ ) and watches as his shoulders relax and as he turns his gaze away.

"I don't want your pity. I just wanted to let you know because Hitoka won't shut up about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you don't have to force yourself," he grumbles, completely ignoring the fact that Tadashi _can't breathe_.

Tadashi takes more than a minute to remember how to inhale and exhale, and he's more than grateful that Tsukki hasn't moved.

"Tsukki, you… _what_?" He manages to say oh-so-eloquently.

"I'm not repeating myself, idiot," Tsukki grumbles.

"I-I-I… Tsukki, I… I need to thank Yachi-san."

Tsukki's head whips to look at him, and Tadashi's neck sympathizes.

"I thought you _knew_. I thought that you were so quiet in the past week because you found out that _I_ like _you_. I can't… I don’t… am I dreaming? Oh god, what if I'm dreaming?" He says in a rush.

"Breathe, Yamaguchi. Are you saying that you feel the same way?"

Tadashi barely nods, too busy wiping the tears that fell, unbidden, down his face. Tsukki chuckles – a sound that Tadashi hasn't heard since they were kids and it makes him smile through his tears, feeling the relief and happiness sink into his weary bones.

The blonde pulls him closer, and Tadashi lets him.

"I'm an idiot," Tsukki breathes, still chuckling.

"I'm so happy."

They sit on the bench for hours as Tsukki unwillingly tells him the story of how he ended up befriending Yachi. He notices that he's leaving some details out, and Tadashi's okay with that, still basking in the warmth that came with loving and being loved in return. He sits and listens attentively as the blocker continues on to how Kageyama and Hinata got attached to the very same girl. And after today, Tadashi knows that he'll probably be in the same boat as them. After all, she's the reason why his dreams came true one unassuming afternoon.

Tadashi does end up profusely thanking Yachi the next morning while Tsukki stands stiff beside him. After telling him to call her whatever he wants – they ended up with Yacchan – she had smiled, affectionate and proud at Tsukki, before jumping in the air and high-fiving Tadashi.

He really couldn't be blamed for pulling her into a hug.

"I'm so happy for you guys," she says against his shoulder. "I'm so proud of you, Tsukki. I might actually cry in the middle of this hallway."

"Don't you dare," Tadashi hears his ( _his!_ ) blocker retort. He doesn't comment on the lack of bite in his words, too focused on suppressing his shock at meeting this side of Yachi.

She's as bright as she normally is but more open and honest and _sassy_. Who would've known? He mulls the changes as he watches Tsukki and Yachi interact, amazed that the latter seems to be wholly unaffected by his blocker's teasing.

It was inevitable for them to join the after practice volleyball club, and he doesn't remember the last time he laughed as much as he did when he's with what he likes to call as Yacchan and her boys.

Tsukki had rolled his eyes when he shared the label he'd bestowed upon them all but he didn't say anything. That's how Tadashi knows that he, like him and Hinata and even Kageyama, has a soft spot for blonde.

Hinata sparkled the first time that he mentioned being Yacchan's boys before turning to the girl in question to give her thumbs up. She's blushing to the tips of her ears but she notices Kageyama smile – something that was becoming more and more common these days – and she couldn't protest.

Maybe that's why he's caught off guard when he gets to know another side of the bright and happy Yacchan.

He and Tsukki were enjoying lunch when the blonde's phone vibrates. They've been together for a week and Tadashi means it with everything that he is when he tells Tsukki that he's never been this happy.

"Is it Kageyama?" Tadashi says, teasing and laughing when Tsukki scoffed.

Tsukki sets the call on loudspeaker as soon as he presses answer.

"Hitoka? Tadashi's here too." The reminder is weird, but it didn't seem to matter to Yacchan.

"I told her," he hears her say with a voice that's barely above a whisper. It doesn't make sense to Tadashi but it does to Tsukki if the plain shock on his face was anything to go by. The lighthearted atmosphere immediately dissipates when his expression morphs into something protective – something that Tadashi hasn't seen since Tsukki protected him from bullies. The blonde hurriedly picks up the phone but leaves the loudspeaker on.

"And?"

"Can you… Can you and Tadashi come? I-I don't think I can stand," she says with a laugh that sounds unbearably exhausted.

Tadashi reacts the only way he knows how: he starts packing up their lunch, food suddenly far away from his mind. His mind is spinning and there's something like fear that curls deep and hot in his stomach. The stutter has been absent whenever she's talking to them and its sudden comeback does little to comfort him.

He shoots a quick text to Hinata and Kageyama, letting them know that something was up with Yacchan. He knows that they'll probably run over as soon as they can, and honestly, Tadashi can understand.

"Where are you?" Tsukki asks in a tone so serious.

"Courtyard, the bench in the farthest corner," she answers then hesitates. "I-I'm sorry to b-bother you and Tadashi. I know it's lunch."

"It doesn't matter. We're on our way."

Yacchan hangs up the call. Though he knew that he probably won't understand right now when his blocker's face is set in something like anxiety, Tadashi still turns to Tsukki as they speedwalk through the hallways, looking at him expectantly.

"It's not my story to tell, but I'm sure you'll find out as soon as we get there. Just… Tadashi… it's…" Tsukki bites his lip. He doesn't finish his sentence but Tadashi can hear the millions of things he leaves unspoken (it's Hitoka, it's serious).

They don't talk all the way to the courtyard, both of them too focused on getting there as soon as possible. At one point, he thinks he hears Ennoshita call out to them, but they were already too far away, and as rude as it may sound, Tadashi couldn't find it himself to care about anything other than getting to Yacchan.

As soon as they step onto the courtyard, they spot Yacchan sitting on the bench she mentioned.

Even from an entire patch of land away, Tadashi can tell that the normally energetic and excitable junior manager is still and silent. And that… that doesn't sit well somewhere in the soft spot he had for the girl. So he hurries, almost running to match Tsukki's pace. She locks gazes with them as they walk (jog) into her line of sight. She gives them a small but thankfully genuine smile.

He and Tsukki stop right in front of her. Upon closer inspection, Yacchan not only sounds exhausted but looks it too. Her eyes are dry, and Tadashi can't decide if he should worry more or be a little relieved. It brings him little comfort because she looks like she's in the process of breaking.

"I told Sh-Shimizu-senpai that I'm in love with her," she shares without preamble. Tadashi sucks in a sharp breath. "It went as well as I expected it to."

Tsukki lets out a sigh, no less worried than he was before she explained what happened.

Ever quiet, he only moves to sit on Yacchan's left side. Tadashi copies him by occupying the space on her other side. She leans her head on his blocker's shoulder. Tadashi has never seen her like this, and he doesn't even know where to begin processing.

"More than anything, I think I'm relieved. And that's selfish and stupid, but I managed to tell her that I think she deserves the best the world can give, even if it isn't me. I started as a stuttering mess, naturally."

"Naturally," Tsukki quips, making Yacchan sigh soft laughter that somehow manages to break Tadashi's heart.

"Eventually, I just... I don't think she understood a single thing I said beyond 'I'm in love with you, senpai' and 'I'm so sorry.' But when I did manage to breathe, I told her everything. I told her why; that it's because she's beautiful, that that's not just why, that it's because of everything else that she is that I think most people miss. I told her that I don't expect anything, nothing at all.

"I was prepared for a rejection, and that's honestly okay. I mean, it's _excruciating_ no matter how much I prepared for it, but at least I don't feel like crying. I'll probably sob into my pillow, who knows? For now, all I can think about… all I can hope for is that I managed to make her _see_ that she's special to me, to someone, that she's more than just her beauty, that when it gets hard, I hope she remembers that there's something about her that's amazing."

"Sap."

"I know, right? I love her so _gosh darn_ much that sometimes I don't believe it's real. You know, I asked her if we could still be friends. And she looked at me like I lost my mind before asking why I would think that she would stop being there for me, why I would think that she wouldn't want me to still be her friend. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't cry," Yacchan says, evidently confused and disbelieving.

"That sounds like Shimizu-senpai," Tadashi offers.

"Yeah," Yacchan chuckles. "I wanted to make sure that I won't hurt her, you know?"

"Hurt her by?" Tsukki asks.

"By crying my eyes out and letting her think that she's responsible for my tears when it's not her fault, when I don't blame her one bit."

And _god_ , Yacchan is too kind, too loving, too good for this world that Tadashi thinks he might cry if she doesn't.

"You know what's the kicker? I'm sitting here, a mess in every sense of the word, and I keep asking myself how I'm supposed to move on if I don't even want to."

Just for a brief moment, Tadashi might've cursed the heavens for failing to give her the luck she needed to know what it's like to be loved. The thought is gone as soon as it came, but it leaves the sound of a breaking heart behind as a reminder of what love can do.

"Yacchan?"

She hums in response, most likely too emotionally drained to muster up a proper response.

"You were so _very_ brave. I… I'd probably puke and honestly, I'm just lucky Tsukki decided to make the first move. As a fellow perpetually nervous person," Yacchan smiles at this. "I want you to know that what you did, telling Shimizu-senpai all those things? It makes _me_ want to be brave," he takes her hand. "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm surrounded by saps," Tsukki mutters. "But yeah, what he said."

Yacchan grips his hand tighter and burrows deeper into Tsukki's side.

"Thank you," she whispers, lip trembling with the sobs she'd held in. "I'm going to cry now."

In lieu of a response, Tsukki only raises his arm to wrap it around her shoulder, gently tugging her closer, helping her hide her face from the world that is anything but kind. It's far from the right time, but Tadashi feels the familiar feeling of falling in love with his blocker all over again.

**5\. Yachi Hitoka**

In all honesty, Hitoka didn't plan to tell Shimizu everything.

She'd been hanging out in the courtyard, enjoying the peace and quiet, and drowning in everything she feels for Shimizu. Tsukki's apathetic courage in confessing made her laugh but it also made her wish that she could do the same.

Shimizu and the third years are leaving in 14 days, and Hitoka still hasn't said anything.

She remembers what Kageyama and Hinata told her, and she _knows_ , she knows that she'll regret it if she lets Shimizu walk away without knowing that Hitoka is desperately in love with her.

"Hitoka-chan? What are you doing here?"

Her thoughts are cut short by the inquiry. She turns her head so quickly that she gets whiplash (she'll probably regret that later), but there she is. Shimizu stands a few steps away from where she's sitting, looking bewildered.

Hitoka resists the surprisingly powerful urge to throw her hands up to the sky and ask _why_.

She swallows, mercilessly stuffing down her feelings, slightly regretting the fact that she even thought about it at school, of all places.

"Hi, Sh-Shimizu-senpai!"

"Hello?" The manager moves to sit beside her, and Hitoka is terrified because her pulse is thrumming so loudly that she thinks there's no way Shimizu won't be able to hear it.

"Aren't… Are y-you not eating lunch?" Hitoka forces herself to ask, stumbling over her words as she tries to focus on calming her entire being. Luckily, the manager seems to not notice as she sits relaxed on the bench.

As she becomes hyperaware of Shimizu's deep and even breathing, Hitoka can't help but latch on to the sense of calm.

"I've already eaten. What about you?"

"I had lunch with Hinata and Kageyama, but you know how they are when one of them brings a ball," she rambles.

Shimizu chuckles.

Hitoka tries really, really hard not to let the sound affect her newfound, but extremely fragile, calm.

"Well, what are you doing?"

Later, when all has been said and done, Hitoka will look back at this moment and recognize it as the moment when she realized that she couldn't lie to Shimizu, not even if telling the truth kills her already frayed heart.

"Trying to be brave," she answers, the words slipping out in a rush of breath as she abruptly stops her efforts to tuck away her feelings for Shimizu.

She feels something suspiciously like hope take its place next to her bravery, settling in its place like it belongs there, like Hitoka never put it in under lock and key. And hope will kill her one day (maybe today), but for now, it's exactly what she needs for whatever she says next. That and borrowed courage.

Shimizu looks at her, and Hitoka doesn't know, doesn't understand, doesn't comprehend how she manages to meet the woman's gaze head-on.

It's unusual enough because Shimizu startles, clearly shocked that Hitoka has managed something she hasn't been able to do since she met her. As a result, the manager's next question wavers with trepidation, and Hitoka feels her grip on the courage she borrowed from Tsukki and Hinata slip just a little bit.

"For what?"

"I'm… I… Shimizu-senpai, I-there's…" She shuts her mouth when she feels hands cover her clenched fist.

"Calm down, Hitoka-chan. Whatever it is, you know that you can tell me, right?" And Shimizu doesn't know exactly what she's saying, what she's asking – not when Hitoka can't get the words out.

She can only nod, taking one deep breath after another until the noose around her neck loosens enough to let her turn her hand around and clutch (softly, gently, _lovingly_ ) Shimizu's.

Her senpai must feel the tremors because she gives Hitoka's hand a squeeze. And later, when she has nothing left to say, she'll marvel at how much such a simple, tiny little thing can do to Hitoka. All at once, everything that's squeezing her heart moves aside and steps far enough that she feels numb but so _so_ in love that she wonders how she was able to hide it for this long.

Hitoka closes her eyes and leans back on the bench, utterly and earnestly giving up (not unlike the way she fell in love with Shimizu).

"Shimizu-senpai?" The woman in question hums, squeezing her still shaking hand. "I'm in love with you, have been since the day we met and probably will be even when you're not here anymore."

Hitoka can imagine the surprise on Shimizu's face.

The hand holding hers jerks as the older one of the two presumably turns her entire body towards her but makes no move to let her go. But Hitoka wants to give her space to process (or so she tells herself because she's pretty sure that she unwillingly slips her hand out from under Shimizu's just because Hitoka won't be to handle it if _Shimuzu_ pulls away).

"I'm so sorry," she whispers delicately and weakly.

She considers it a blessing that when she stops to gauge how likely she is to cry, she didn't seem to be anywhere near the possibility. So, safe in the knowledge that she probably won't sob her heart out until after, Hitoka opens her eyes, looking straight ahead, seeing nothing and everything all at the same time.

Shimizu hasn't said anything since her confession and subsequent apology, and Hitoka doesn't blame her. It's a lot even for herself. So she continues, afraid as she is, sad as she is, defeated as she is.

"When we met, I'm sorry to say that I didn't hear anything you said, but I don't regret saying yes to becoming the junior manager. You were so pretty and graceful and everything I'm not. I couldn't help it, senpai," Hitoka chuckles. It sounded hopeless even to her own ears. "But, you know…"

She turns to look at Shimizu, driven by nothing but instinct. Hitoka's heart stutters. Shimizu looks shocked, her mouth slightly open, a pretty blush dusting her cheeks.

"You're more than that. You're more than how you look or how people see you," she says, sobering and letting her self-deprecating amusement turn into something fond. "You're determined. You can't stand by the sidelines and watch while the people you care about struggle. You took a shy, nervous wreck like me under your wing and taught everything I know about confidence, about friendship, about love. You run yourself ragged if it meant that you could help in any way you can. You're there when anyone needs you and when they don't."

"Hitoka-chan, I…" Shimizu's words break in a million different places, and it hurts Hitoka far more than the rejection she knows is coming from a mile away. "I'm not perfect."

Hitoka nods, acquiescing to her words.

"I know," she responds gently. "You struggle with expressing your emotions and when you do, I know that sometimes you regret even trying. You're still ashamed of the scars on your legs, and you already know what I think about that. You don't how to take care of yourself even though I wish you would. Shimizu-senpai, I'm not in love with you because I think you're perfect."

"Then… why?"

"Because when I'm with you, I forget a lot of things. I forget why my day was bad. I forget why I was even sad or angry. Sometimes," she pauses, letting her eyes focus on something else. "Sometimes, I-I even forget _how to breathe_. And sure, I'm reminded of each and everything I forget, but whatever it is that was worrying me, it doesn't seem so bad. Not when I'm with you. You make want to be stronger and better and happier.

"I'm in love with you because of so many reasons, and if you're waiting for the list to end, we'll be here for _weeks_. But if you're looking for a simple answer, then I'd say that I'm in love with you because you're you and I, being this nervous wreck of a disaster, just couldn't help it."

Now that Hitoka has said it once, she couldn't seem to stop saying it again and again. _I'm in love with you_ , she repeats in her head like a mantra, a wish, a promise.

"Hitoka-chan, I… I'm… I'm _so sorry_. I'm not… I don't feel the same way," Shimizu manages to tell her, and _damn_ , even if she was prepared for it, even if she knew it was coming, Hitoka can feel the deafening yells of hope simmer to a whimper.

She keeps it together only by sheer will.

Because she's not done yet. She got this far. She'd be damned if she gave up now.

She lifts a trembling hand as if to wipe the tears that create tracks on Shimizu's face only to stop inches away. She waits for Shimizu to move away or do anything to tell her that she doesn't want Hitoka to do what she means to do.

It doesn't come.

Instead, Shimizu grips her fingers and pushes it the rest of the way before letting go.

Hitoka doesn't hesitate. She wipes the tears, slowly and softly and with all the love that she can push into her fingertips. She gives her a smile, internally surprised that she hasn't cried yet but not at all shocked to find that even when she's rejected, Hitoka is still hopelessly in love with Shimizu.

"I know," she whispers. "I know, and you don't have to apologize, Shimizu-senpai. I'm not telling you all this because I expect you to say yes or-or return my feelings, because I don't want you to if you're only doing it for me.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm in love with you so that when you doubt yourself, when you don't like who looks back at you in the mirror, when it's hard and dark wherever you go, you're special to someone. I want you to remember that you are loved by silly, old me, that there are a lot of things about you that I see and appreciate especially when you don't. You deserve the best this world can give, Shimizu-senpai," _even if it's not me_ she leaves unsaid.

Hitoka lifts her other hand. She ignores the thunderous beating of her heart, the ache that settles deep in her bones, and she moves to frame Shimizu's face. She focuses on tenderly wiping Shimizu's sadness and regret all the while searing this moment in her mind and in her heart.

In the end, there's only so much love and hurt that her heart can hold.

She drops her hands, letting them grip the bench instead, hoping that it's enough to suppress the urge to pull this woman, her everything, closer.

"Don't cry, Shimizu-senpai. Not for me, not because of me," Hitoka says, doing her best to infuse as much warmth as she possibly could to her words. "I'm alright, and if I'm not, then I will be."

"Hitoka-chan, thank you," Shimizu says, heartfelt and earnest, making Hitoka give her what she hopes to be a beaming smile.

"I think I should be thanking you actually. For hearing me out," she responds lightly before exhaling a long, slow breath. "I honestly can't believe I managed to say all that," she mutters mostly to herself.

Shimizu laughs and it makes Hitoka slap her hands to her cheeks. She can almost _feel_ the blush overtake her face.

" _Now_ , I blush," Hitoka adds, disgruntled.

She would've been embarrassed about her sudden inability to filter what comes out of her mouth if it weren't for the fact that Shimizu's tears have stopped.

"Where was _this_ Hitoka-chan the past few months?"

"Oh, don't worry, you'll get to know her," she answers without thinking about how she's not talking to Tsukki. Realizing what she said, Hitoka flails her arms. "I MEAN! I mean, if it doesn't m-make you un-uncomfortable, or I mean, i-if I could s-s-still be your friend! You d-d-don't have to say yes, I'm okay w-with whatever's c-comfortable for you!"

Figures that Hitoka can say she's in love with her with a straight face but stammers like an idiot when she's asking something simpler.

Shimizu looks at her like she grew another head, and Hitoka wonders how fast Hinata can dig a six-foot deep hole.

"Why wouldn't I be okay with that?" Shimizu asks, effectively cutting off her panic.

Hitoka tilts her head in utter confusion.

"We've established that I'm in love with you, right, Shimizu-senpai?"

"Yes," Shimizu says, blushing with the reminder. "But if you think that I care for you so little that I can just walk away from _this_ friendship because of that, then you're definitely wrong."

Hitoka softens and doesn't say anything. She settles for looking at Shimizu and wonders how she got lucky enough to meet her. She doesn't realize she's staring until Shimizu's lips twitch with a nervous smile.

"Sorry!" Hitoka rushes to apologize. "You're just… I'm just… Anyway! Will you promise to tell me if I make you uncomfortable, Shimizu-senpai?"

"Only if you promise to call me Kiyoko."

Hitoka takes a moment to process that and questions what it is about the final stretch of her first year that she keeps collecting first names.

"Kiyoko," she says, testing the name on her tongue.

It's bittersweet and warm in the way a perfect cup of coffee or tea or hot cocoa should be.

"What were you about to say? Before you asked me to promise you that I'll tell you if I ever feel uncomfortable."

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Please?" Hitoka could never deny her anyway. Not before and definitely not now.

"I was wondering how it was possible for me to be so lucky to have met you. I was going to say that I'm just… so in love with you I can hardly believe it."

The woman beside her flushes.

"Kiyoko, I… I'm not gonna be able to stop how I feel, and I don't think I can hide it anymore; not when you know now."

_Will you let me love you still?_

"I know, Hitoka-chan," Kiyoko answers. "It's alright. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it."

For a few minutes, no one talks, both basking in the rollercoaster that most people call love. Hitoka sits still, thoroughly drained. It's only when Shi- _Kiyoko_ moves to stand that she manages to break away from her surprisingly quiet thoughts.

"I'll see you later at practice? We’re naming a new captain," Kiyoko says.

Hitoka nods and gives her a thumbs up. "I'll stay here for a bit."

"Alright," she nods but doesn't make a move to walk away.

"Kiyoko?"

She doesn't get to finish her half-formed question because suddenly, arms wrap around her shoulder and her back.

Hitoka really couldn't be blamed for taking a second to respond and releasing a very eloquent "oh." Despite her shock, she's quick to lift her arms, to close her eyes, to soak in this rare privilege.

Hitoka's suddenly glad that hugs are perfect for when you want to hide your face.

"I'm okay," she whispers quietly. Kiyoko squeezes her in response.

"No, you're not."

"Maybe."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Thank you for loving me."

"Thank you for letting me."

When Kiyoko finally lets her go, she doesn't look at Hitoka. Instead, she turns on her heels and the blonde can do nothing but watch.

Dazed, Hitoka only has enough energy to call Tsukki. While she waits, she realizes that she doesn't regret a single thing. More than the waves of pain that crash into her, she feels the relief that comes with finally being free of a well-kept secret.

Her mother had told her that she loves quietly. She didn't really understand what that meant until she saw the look Kiyoko's face. Hitoka finds herself wishing that she wasn't so good at hiding such things. After all, if Kiyoko noticed, Hitoka wouldn't have had to give her a heart attack.

She doesn't cry until she's cocooned by Tsukki and Tadashi's warmth. Shouyo and Tobio arrive just as lunch comes to an end, out of breath, and ruffled. She hears Hinata say something about informing teachers that they won't be able to attend the rest of their classes, but Tadashi swiftly cuts in to retell what happened.

And just when she thought she didn't have any tears left, Hinata pulls her into his embrace, shamelessly ignoring Tsukki's grumbling. He whispers a constant stream of comfort and warmth and everything that Hitoka didn't know she needed until he was doing it.

She ends up crying for a little while longer.

When Tobio reaches into his bag to pull out his water bottle and hands it to her at the same time Tsukki gives her a clean towel, Hitoka laughs.

Yeah, she'll be okay.

**6\. Shimizu Kiyoko**

Kiyoko lives the final days of her high school life in a daze.

Daichi always told her that she was nothing if not observant. It's how she'd know to give a little extra effort when she thinks the teacher's going to give them a pop quiz. It's how she knows what each member of the team will need before they say it.

It's how she knows to prepare when she thinks someone might confess.

It's a survival instinct borne out of her fears. She's afraid of failure, of not meeting the standards she set for herself, of falling behind and being left behind. She's afraid of being known only for her beauty when she ( _sometimes_ ) knows that she's so much more. Most of all, she's afraid that for all the hearts she's had to shatter, she would end up leaving a piece of hers behind until she has nothing left but chipped edges and bleeding shards.

Breaking hearts is not what she dreamed of doing when she was little, when people began praising her for the face she was born with, when everyone began to forget who she is underneath.

She'd be a heartbreaker, they said as a compliment.

It is anything but.

It is painful, torturous, and unbearable for everyone involved.

So, Kiyoko learns.

She learns how to spot starry eyes and dopey smiles from a mile away. She learns how to distance herself from the situation, how to avoid being cornered for confessions, and how to break hearts as quickly and as painlessly as she can when she has no choice but to do so.

And all the while, she wonders. Why would people subject themselves to love when all it brings is pain?

Then, Hitoka, a shy but happy girl, comes into her life and sets fire to everything that Kiyoko has learned.

She didn't see. She didn't notice. She didn't _know_ until the moment Hitoka leaned back on the bench and touched her hand like it was fragile. She didn't know until the girl's body relaxed in a way that Kiyoko couldn't label as anything other than defeat. She didn't know until Hitoka let the words slip out of her mouth like a sigh of relief or a whisper of comfort.

The owners of the shattered hearts that lay at her feet always confessed like this: they would blush profusely before bowing at the waist and asking her out on a date.

Hitoka's confession was nothing like Kiyoko has ever seen. If she didn't know any better, the girl might have looked content instead of defeated. But she _does_ know better, and Kiyoko doesn't know what hurts her more: that she has to break this sweet, shy girl's heart or that the same girl knew that she couldn't love her back and still chose to take her love and lay it at her feet.

Kiyoko couldn't take it, couldn't hide, couldn't run.

"I'm not perfect," she had said, and Hitoka looked at her like she saw the forgotten woman beneath the beauty. Hitoka had nodded and then listed things about her that no one has ever noticed.

She didn't know what to think. She couldn't fathom why Hitoka still loved her despite her flaws. So, she asked – something that she'd never had to do because people usually begin with why they want her. And Hitoka answered.

This is the first time that Kiyoko wished with everything she had, flaws and beauty and a collection of broken hearts, that she could love Hitoka back. The thought pushes the tears out of the walls she built around herself, and it keeps flowing, making her choke on the rejection that she knew the junior manager saw coming.

Hitoka… Hitoka smiles, and Kiyoko doesn't know what to do because this has never happened, because no one has ever loved her in the way the girl in front of her does. So, she cries harder and doesn't stop Hitoka from wiping away her tears.

Her touch is gentle, her fingers trembling with the love that Kiyoko still doesn't recognize. Hitoka doesn't ask her out on a date or rave about her beauty. Her eyes are clear and attentive, and her smile is honest, genuine, and heartbroken. She looks at her like her face is the last thing on her mind, and Kiyoko wonders what Hitoka sees when she looks at her like _that_ , like she could tell her that she lit the stars and Hitoka would believe her.

Perhaps, Kiyoko thinks, this is why she didn't notice, why she couldn't bring herself to walk away, and why she wished desperately that she could feel the same. Maybe it's because Hitoka loved her quietly and softly. Maybe it's because Hitoka doesn't seem to care about her broken heart, instead focusing on showing Kiyoko the kind of love that she's never known. Maybe it's because Hitoka held all the answers that Kiyoko has spent her whole life finding.

When this brave, _brave_ girl says her name, she says it like it was something precious, like it was a prayer, like there's no other word she'd rather say in that moment. When Hitoka tells her that she wouldn't be able to stop or hide how she feels, Kiyoko could do nothing but let her. When they'd fallen into a silence that's heavy with everything that has been said and done, Kiyoko didn't want to walk away.

It would have been easy to forget, but Kiyoko doesn't let this one moment go.

Kiyoko finds the small signs that she missed. She recognizes what the look in her eyes mean. She sees how Hitoka is always there when Kiyoko needs her and always waiting when she doesn't. She knows the red rims that surround kind brown eyes as the smaller girl (but far more courageous than Kiyoko thinks she could ever be) falls into step beside her only a few hours after Hitoka's heart joined the collection that follows Kiyoko.

"Kiyoko?" Hitoka asks quietly even as the team was getting the last practice with the seniors underway. The junior manager looks up at her, narrowing her eyes in thought before letting her hand hover in the air next to hers.

It's pure instinct that makes Kiyoko push her wrist into the waiting hand, but she doesn't know what it is that makes her shiver when Hitoka gently settles her fingers around her pulse.

"I'm alright, I promise," Hitoka whispers so quietly that Kiyoko strains to hear.

"You're not," she responds like she did earlier that day.

"I am."

"How could you be?"

"Because you're still here. And that's more than I could ask for."

And _goddamn it_ , Kiyoko can't breathe because Hitoka doesn't look like her heart had shattered even though she knows that she cried. This Hitoka, the one who has nothing left to hide, still looks at her like she did on that bench, touches her wrist like it grounds her, and smiles like she wants to tell Kiyoko that she's in love with her over and over again.

_I wish I could love you_.

"Too much?" Hitoka asks, her fingers loosening like she'd let go if Kiyoko told her to.

_I wish I could love you_.

She pulls her wrist out of Hitoka's grip, moving to fit her fingers into the spaces and using the new grip to tug her closer. She isn't surprised when Hitoka follows, a light blush touching the tips of her ears.

_I wish I could love you._

"No," Kiyoko breathes, looking straight at surprised brown eyes.

Hitoka chuckles, quiet and soft and disbelieving like the way (Kiyoko now knows) she'd fallen in love with her.

_I wish I could love you_.

"Okay."

Even as life blurs around her in a series of fast-paced changes, Kiyoko holds the imprint left by the memory and the feeling that came with being loved by Hitoka and takes it wherever she goes. She thought that the girl would avoid her; she thought Hitoka would want to give herself some space.

None of these things happen.

If circumstances permit it, the new manager would meet her halfway before telling her stories about Tsukishima, Kageyama, Hinata, and Yamaguchi. Kiyoko would let herself laugh because she didn't think Tsukishima could act protective or because she can imagine Kageyama's attempt at a smile. She couldn’t help but smile when Hitoka talks about Hinata's goal to experience beach volleyball or when she shares that Yamaguchi seems a little more comfortable in his own skin.

Kiyoko doesn't want to lead Hitoka on. But at the same time, she doesn't want to ask her to let go, not when she thinks Hitoka won't be able to, not when she's sure that she'll end up hiding it under the ruse that she's moved on. Kiyoko doesn't know what to do. And that's how she finds herself approaching Asahi and asking if she could talk to him later in the day. He'd agreed readily and asked if she was okay. She didn't know how to answer, so Asahi didn't push, but he did look at her worriedly.

"What wrong?" He asked as soon as they settled in the park near school – the place where she, Daichi, Suga, and Asahi would often visit.

"Someone confessed to me a few days ago," Kiyoko says, watching as Asahi's expression turn into something like sympathy. He knew how it hurt Kiyoko. "It was… unusual."

"What do you mean?"

"She… She… I don't know how to put into words."

"Can you try?" Asahi pleads.

"She was… selfless? Brave?" In truth, Kiyoko couldn't find the perfect word to describe it.

"Must have been amazing then?" She nods. "Then what's the problem?"

"I couldn't tell her to stop feeling the way that she feels or let me go or anything I would've told anyone else. And she didn't. She didn't hide or put on a façade for my sake. Her confession was honest, and I think it might be something unforgettable for me because she looked past _this_ ," she gestures vaguely to her face. "I don't know what to do. I couldn't tell her to move on, but I also don't want to lead her on."

Kiyoko pauses, letting Asahi process her rare rambling.

"And it's getting increasingly hard to not lead her on because she's always there. She doesn't avoid me like all the others, and I don't know what to do with that."

"Wow," Asahi mutters. "I don't think I've ever seen you this worked up. You… rejected her?" She nods again. "Yachi-san must really love you."

"Yes," Kiyoko stops short. "Wait. I never said anything about Hitoka."

Asahi chuckles. "You don't have to. I think she speaks for both of you. I've seen you with her, you know? She looks at you like you're the only one worth seeing. And you _let_ her touch you. I think that says something."

"What, though? I'm not in love with her, no matter how much I wish I could."

"I think that says something too. I think you could be. In love with her, I mean. N-Not now!" Asahi rushes to explain. "But given time? Who knows what could happen when someone loves you as much as I think Yachi-san does?"

The thought doesn't repulse Kiyoko. In fact, if she's being honest, it soothes something somewhere in her soul.

"What do I do then?"

Asahi shrugs. "I think you should let whatever's going to happen, happen. Go with the flow, and see where it takes both of you."

"That's it?"

"What else can you do? I think it's high time for you to learn why people love, don't you?"

"But what if I don't fall in love at all?"

"Then, that's okay, too."

She shoots him an utterly confused look, which makes him apologize.

"How about this. If it's alright with you, tell me how she confessed?"

So, Kiyoko does. She knew that there was no way for her to do justice to what Hitoka had given her in a single moment, but she wanted to try, hoping that in saying the words, she'd understand love a little better.

She told him how it all started with courage before it ended into something life-changing and earth-shattering and heart-wrenching. Kiyoko thinks that even if she scoured the vocabulary that she'd amassed over the years, she wouldn't be able to find the words that can describe what Hitoka had been able to make her feel.

She remembers the moment frame by frame, trying her best to translate a memory into words, to string together smiles and melted eyes to connect phrases, to take the love that Hitoka held for her and use it to build sentences.

Kiyoko tries, she really does, but she doesn't think "regret" could describe how she felt when she realized that she didn't love Hitoka, that "sadness" could illustrate what it felt like to hold her tiny body, that "awe" could describe how she felt about her courage. She tries, but with every passing word, Kiyoko's throat chokes her with the weight of unknown adjectives.

By the end of it, Asahi looked like he'd been hit by a bus.

Kiyoko could relate.

"Y-You… I'm… W-We're talking about Yachi-san, right?" He asks in disbelief.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm."

" _Wow_ , um, I'm kind of sorry."

"For what?"

Asahi gulps. "I think saying that Yachi-san is in love with you might be the biggest understatement that I've ever said in my entire life," he mutters.

Kiyoko doesn't respond because she feels the exact same way.

"I think…" he stumbles before clearing his throat. "Please remember that I'm no expert, but I think… I don't even know what to think."

Despite herself, Kiyoko laughs and gives a wholehearted " _same_ ," earning a laugh from her friend.

"Seriously though, do you want to try? Falling in love with her, I mean? You can't force yourself to like someone you don't, but maybe the problem is that you've never thought of her as someone other than your junior."

"That's right," she pauses. "I want to try and see where she takes me. I don't know if that's fair for her, especially since I already rejected her. That, and I'm leaving for Tokyo in a few days."

"Why not talk to her?"

"What do I even say?"

He hums. "I don't know Hitoka as well as you do, but I know you'll find the right words to say even if it doesn't seem like it now."

They sit in silence, Kiyoko in contemplation, Asahi in companionship. She thinks about what he said, trying to imagine how the conversation will go. She doesn't know if she could do it – she doesn't know if she could be as brave as Hitoka was. She'd be putting the younger girl into a rollercoaster of emotions, which is something Kiyoko knew to be unpleasant. Hitoka could reject her or get mad at her or see the ugly part of Kiyoko that she tries her best to hide.

But then, there's the fact that somewhere deep in her heart, she knew that she could love Hitoka. Even if she does her best to doubt it, to keep her feet firmly planted on the ground, Hitoka had, for better or worse, intentionally or not, begun to try and find space in Kiyoko's heart. And she wonders: how is it that someone who had no intention of winning gain a better chance at success in love's battlefield?

Kiyoko finds herself in a deeper daze as the days to her graduation crawl. If Hitoka noticed her increased silence, she doesn't say anything. Kiyoko wished she'd ask because then, she would have the perfect opportunity to try and follow Asahi's advice.

She doesn't understand how it happens, but the next time she tunes in to the world around her, she finds herself lining up to take her diploma from the principal. Her heart jumps to her throat when she realizes that she hasn’t said anything to Hitoka. Suga picks up on her sudden anxiety and shoots her a worried look. She barely manages to wave it away, too busy worrying about what'll happen if she never gets to tell Hitoka before she leaves for Tokyo.

"Thank you," she mutters, only partially aware that the words managed to leave her mouth.

Suga pulls her into a hug as soon as the principal reaches the end of his speech, and Kiyoko couldn't help but join in on his bittersweet elation. She pulls the cap off of her head and throws it into the air with a big grin on her face that Suga mirrors. Asahi and Daichi find them in less than half a minute and before long, Kiyoko finds herself lost in the arms of the friends she now calls family.

Kiyoko almost forgets, but when Daichi gets a text telling him to bring them to the gym for a short while, her hands clam up in nervous anticipation of what she may or may not be able to say. She ignores the feeling as she accepts the love and congratulations that her parents are offering. She pushes it down as she tells them that she'd just be for a while, that the team may have set something up for them. She swallows as her mother tells her that she can take her time.

The walk to the gym is filled with excited chattering mostly from Suga. She spies Daichi nod in response to whatever he's saying, but Kiyoko couldn't find it in herself to properly participate in the conversation they were having.

Daichi pushes the gym doors open, stepping aside to let them all inside.

It's quiet. And that was unusual.

Kiyoko thinks her soul might have jumped out of her body when the sound of party poppers as well as new and familiar voices all yell "congratulations!" in tandem. Her hand involuntarily comes up to clutch at her chest, and there's a yelp stuck somewhere between her stomach and her throat.

One by one, the remaining team members move to surround the massive banner before Ennoshita stepped up front and center, sporting a watery smile on his face.

"Thank you for everything you've done for us!" He bows. "I'll do my best!"

Kiyoko couldn't help but smile, watching as Daichi and Suga approached Ennoshita. They clapped a hand against his back all while trying to hide their tears with an amused laugh. She knows they aren't fooling anyone.

All at once, her thoughts stop as she spies Hitoka move as soon as Hinata, armed with thousands of questions, approached Asahi.

"Congratulations!"

"Thank you," she responds softly, already offering up her wrist before she can think about it. Idly, Kiyoko marvels at the wonders of conditioning and habit.

"You're leaving for Tokyo today, right?" Hitoka asks, not a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Yes. My parents are waiting for me, but they did say there was no rush."

Hitoka only nods. Her eyes haven't strayed from where they landed on Kiyoko's eyes, and she suppresses the confusing urge to step forward. She'll probably try and figure out what that urge is later, but for now, she remembers that she has something to say.

"Hitoka, I…"

"Kiyoko…"

They speak at the same time. They end up staring at each other before the smile tugging the corner of Hitoka's lips melts Kiyoko's nervousness into nothing but laughter.

"Can we talk?" Kiyoko manages to gasp in between breaths.

"Yeah, where? Or is here okay?"

"Outside?"

Hitoka nods again as the traces of their laughter paint contentment on her face. Kiyoko wonders if she looks the same. She hopes she does. She feels the younger girl lift a finger away from her wrist, letting it stray down to her palm. Kiyoko only waits until she can focus on opening the gym doors before pulling her wrist up from the gentle grip and allowing her hand to take its requested place.

The blonde doesn't look at her, but Kiyoko can see from the corner of her eye how she seemed to give a soundless sigh – something that promises the world that this is where Hitoka wants to be.

It would have been easy to forget. Except Kiyoko can see this girl look at her, hear how she values her, feel the love in Hitoka's fingertips.

They make their way to the club room, taking a seat on the stairs, both refusing to break contact. Kiyoko doesn't know how it happens (that's becoming more and more familiar these days), but she'd apparently pulled Hitoka's hand still clasped in hers onto her lap, letting the proof of everything that's changed between them rest where the world can see.

"Are you okay?" Hitoka eventually breathes like she's afraid that if she was any louder, the moment would break.

Kiyoko could relate.

"I think so," she responds honestly for once. "It's a kind of bittersweet experience."

"I understand. I'd probably cry when it's my turn."

Kiyoko chuckles, giving the hand in hers a squeeze.

"What time were you and your parents planning on leaving?"

"Knowing them, maybe after dinner," Kiyoko muses, hoping that her parents weren't in a rush.

"Hey," a small tug on her hand brings her to look at Hitoka. " _You're going to be amazing_."

It's not a question, not a drop of worry, not even a hint of doubt. Hitoka says it like she already saw it happening, like "stay with me" and "don't leave me" are words she'd never thought of saying. And Kiyoko is certain that she'll remember this deceptively insignificant moment no matter what happens to them after.

She only realizes that she's staring when Hitoka begins to fidget, biting her lip las if she's trying to hold back an apology. It's so like her that Kiyoko didn't try and stop herself from using the hand clasped in hers as leverage. She pulls Hitoka tight against her side, making the younger girl squeak in surprise. Kiyoko pulls her closer in response.

"Thank you," she tells her.

"N-No problem!"

It takes a few minutes for Hitoka to relax in their newfound position, but Kiyoko refuses to let go.

"I wanted to tell you," Kiyoko starts, "that ever since you told me how you feel, I've been wishing for something. I don't know how you'll take it or if what I'm about to say is fair to you, but I wanted to tell you nonetheless."

Hitoka turns to her (as much as she can anyway considering if she turned too much, she'd end up eye level to the older girl's lips. Kiyoko is definitely _not_ ready for that.)

"Would you like to take a step back?" Hitoka worries. Kiyoko rubs the suddenly tense shoulder under her hand, hoping it would soothe her unfounded anxiety.

"No, that's not it at all. As a matter of fact, what I want to tell you is the exact opposite of that," Kiyoko takes a deep breath. "I meant it when I said that I wasn't in love with you. And before anything, I’d like to make it clear that that still hasn't changed."

"I know," Hitoka says comfortingly like she hears Kiyoko's regret.

"But I want to try and see where _this_ goes."

Hitoka jolts under her arm, and the older girl can see her bite her lip to stop herself from talking, knowing that Kiyoko would want to get all of her thoughts out.

"I don't want to lead you on, but as selfish as it sounds, I think I'd regret it if I don't at least _try_. I don't know what will happen – you're different from everyone else, and I honestly don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that you turned my world upside down. I think you caused a paradigm shift, you know? Because that's what it felt like when I tried looking at you as more than my junior," Kiyoko lets out a wry chuckle, eyes still fixed on Hitoka's side profile. "I was shocked. But maybe not for the reason you and I thought I would be. I think what really surprised me is that it wasn't all that hard to see you as anything _more_."

The younger girl doesn't turn. She stubbornly keeps her eyes steady in front of her, and Kiyoko doesn't know if she wants her to look at her or if she wants her to keep her gaze trained on whatever fixed point she'd identified.

"I swear that I'm not trying to hurt you more than I already have. I… It wasn't… That's not something I ever want to put you through. _Again_. I didn't want to tell you about all of this, but then I remembered how _you_ were honest, and I couldn't find it in myself to lie to you."

Hitoka jerks like she wants to refute the statement.

"No, I mean that that's what it feels like to me," Kiyoko takes a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is this: I'm not in love with you, but I'd like to see if I could feel the same way you do about me. I can't promise that I won't hurt you, but I swear to do everything I can not to. I'd understand if you don't agree. I wouldn't fault you for it. I won't avoid you or condemn you for protecting your heart."

Kiyoko leaves it at that, feeling a little breathless considering this might be the first time she's ever talked that much. She stays still, listening to Hitoka's quiet and painfully controlled breaths, letting her hand keep soothing the blonde's shoulder. Slowly, Hitoka seems to gain some of her senses and disentangles herself from her hold. Kiyoko doesn't expect to feel her heart drop to her feet.

She's about to apologize (for what, she didn't know), but Hitoka's moving to put enough space between them so that she can turn to face Kiyoko without worrying about crossing an invisible line. Her hand hovers in the space between her fingers and Kiyoko's cheek – much like the day that changed everything.

Kiyoko doesn't hesitate; she leans her head against the open palm, trying to see any sliver of the truth in Hitoka's unreadable expression.

"Really?" Hitoka whispers like she was told that Santa is real, that wishes come true. It pulls something in Kiyoko's chest.

"If you'd like to, then yes."

Hitoka worries her bottom lip, looking like she's torn between a rock and a hard place.

"You don't have to."

The blonde doesn't respond immediately but does brush a finger across the skin under her eyes. Kiyoko wonders if she looks like she's about to cry.

"Can I… May I have some time to think about it?"

Kiyoko nods once.

"Of course," she says firmly. She earns the now-familiar smile of someone in love.

"Okay."

Hitoka leans forward, and Kiyoko thinks she might die from all the sudden movements of her heart. The hand on her cheek leaves as it travels down to her neck then to the space between her shoulders. Kiyoko is unable to tear her gaze away from Hitoka's as the blonde watches the movement of her own hand. Brown eyes snap to meet hers for a split second before Kiyoko finds her world suddenly off-kilter for the second time, this time with Hitoka in her arms.

It's bold – bolder than Kiyoko could have ever expected because up until this point, Hitoka has always asked, wordlessly, before touching her. She doesn't know what to think except that she kind of likes this boldness.

"Alright?" Hitoka asks, sounding every bit as breathless as Kiyoko feels, especially when the question grazes her neck.

"Mm-hmm," Kiyoko hums squeakily.

The position is awkward, their bodies separated by their knees, but that doesn't stop Kiyoko from wrapping her arms as best as she can around Hitoka's body. For once in her carefully scripted life, Kiyoko lets herself melt. She angles herself so that she can stretch out her folded legs as she gently coaxes Hitoka halfway into her lap. Kiyoko lets her cheek rest on a waiting shoulder, pressing her forehead against a smooth neck and closing her eyes to soak in this moment.

She sighs and Hitoka trembles. She pulls her closer and Hitoka grips her just as tightly. She threads her fingers through blonde hair and Hitoka fits her body into the spaces that Kiyoko left for her.

In a few hours, a train will be taking Kiyoko four hours away. She'll be left alone in a strange new place with nothing but her belongings and memories of a time when she was a volleyball club's manager. But she knows that she'll have this moment at the forefront of her mind, and Kiyoko thinks that when she gets lonely or homesick or sad and if Hitoka decides not to give her a chance, she'll have this moment to hold on to.

Because come hell or high water, this is the moment when Kiyoko felt most like herself.

(This is also the first time Kiyoko falls a little bit in love, but she won't recognize it for what it is until much later.)


End file.
